So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
