i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
