you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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