He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
accomplished twins. life is a go
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
