using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
