in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
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