i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
