ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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