Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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