Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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