A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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