it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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