Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
