Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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