I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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