I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
