I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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