she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize