it wasn't lemon gatorade
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
