She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Let's paint friendship bongs
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
