It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
