Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
