Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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