Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
