I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
