3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
