We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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