it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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