my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
