He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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