Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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