Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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