Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
