who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
