i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
