using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
