I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
did i just pee glitter
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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