does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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