somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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