I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
