Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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