problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
