I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
