She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
