Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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