I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
