Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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