I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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