ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
