Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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