We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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