also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
