I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
